I'm Not Moody. I'm Not Mad. I'm Just Have Nothing To Say

If people are not stop talking about other people, gossiping, give stupid comments like they are the only perfect human, in my mind only one phrase that appear quite often, ''SHUT THE FUCK UP". Who are you to judge people extremely negative. Just leave them alone. Lantak la janda bercinta dengan orang bujang, duda bercinta dengan anak dara. There's no wrong. Bukannya dia orang minta duit kat korang kalau nak keluar dating. Belum kena kat diri sendiri, boleh la nak jaga tepi kain orang. Kalau dah kena diri sendiri baru tau apa rasa. That's why I just shut my mouth from doing all the comments. Because they'll say, you're are too positive. Please don't be busybody la. Ok until now, if something appear in my mind, I'll edit this post. ^-^

Suicide

I cried so hard last night. I was at the peak of devastation. I can't control myself. I've tried but sadly I failed. Maybe to all of you it was a small matter, but not to me.

My appointment to meet a local masseuse had been cancelled twice in a row. I hate it. I have urinary incontinence, I've met doctor several times and yes there's something wrong about me but thank god my kidneys are okay. Get massage is one of my effort to gain back my health. No one want to stay at hospital with all those wires attach to your body right?

But don't get me wrong. I accept this fact. God loves me that's why He test me. So now, what's the connection of this post with the title?

Let me tell you. I've read Borneo Post yesterday, a second year civil engineering student died after commit a suicide. I'm pretty sure he was devastated, sad like me here. Commit suicide will never solve problem. It will bring so much problems especially to your love ones.

How sad, angry with somebody, or i failed a test or in life, commit suicide never appear to my mind. I kind of person who comfortable to go through pain alone, sometimes. If someone want to give me a shoulder to cry one, please don't judge me. Last night, I cried alone until I fall asleep without having my dinner first. That how sad was me till I have no appetite.

Friends and family, never take for granted this kind of issue. Commit suicide is now serious problem in Malaysia. Please give a hug to your love ones before it's too late.

p/s: Live your life no matter how hopeless it is.

Differences

Some people say, differences of opinion and interest can bring us closed, generate more ideas, sharing what things uncommon. But pathetically in my case it seem bring it torn apart. Sometimes I think I can't take it no more. Hell no! I can still breath without paying single cent from the benefits I could get from the air. Yeah I'm alone but not alone entirely. No one will read this post but at least I've express my feeling.

It's CRAP, CRAP, CRAP World!

My father once told me, politic is a crap, crap, crap world. In politics, people blame each other. No one is right except they are. Even though so, I can't wait to turn 21. Can't wait to register myself as validated voter. I want to accomplish my duty as responsible citizen of this Motherland. I'd read a letter that had been published in local newspaper and the letter's writer felt so disappointed with youth nowadays. He told in that letter that he had hear someone said at local radio station, he don't want to vote. Just let his father do that. What say you about this guy? He's totally moron, right?

Deaf or Dumb

I choose dumb instead of deaf. Why?

1. If you deaf, you completely apart from the world. You can't hear people talking, bird tweeting or even lovely sound of wind.

2. If you only dumb, you still can hear people talking to you and you don't feel isolated.

And yes, I'm a bit deaf or in other word, sound trouble.

Pablo Neruda

Friday, 2nd April 2010

"And when we finally come together

I want you to hold me

Hold me all night

Stroke my hair

Tell me I'm a woman

And show me you're man

Until there, there was only now

You and I and now..."

Random thought toward Neftali Ricardo Reyes Basoalta.

RIP.

Toffee Nut Latte

Sunday, 24th January 2010

I've write for the first time in 2010. Such a late. And its too late to wish a happy new year. But I'm quiet happy because right now, right here in my room, I write in my dream journal. I've been looking for you since two last semester. Now, I've got you dear! "Freshly Brewed Idea". Thats the statement written on you. And your name, Toffee Nut Latte.